Waiting to drink alcohol wasn’t about rules or fear—it was a choice shaped by family history, self-knowledge, and a commitment to long-term wellness.
I never had a drink of alcohol until I was 37.
I would have gotten into real trouble if I had started younger. My closest friends agree. “If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?” Yes. And I’d climb higher, try to clear a tree, and make the landing more dramatic. Alcohol wasn’t needed to amplify that instinct.
Addiction also runs in my family.
When I was in middle school, visiting my grandfather didn’t mean going to a house. We drove through skid row, scanning the streets. When we found him, we picked him up, took him to a diner, ate together, and listened to his stories. And when the afternoon ended, we dropped him back off where he lived.
Alcohol broke my dad’s family. It shaped his childhood. That family history played a major role in my decision to keep waiting to drink alcohol well into adulthood.
My parents were direct. They told me and my siblings that if we waited until 25 to drink, they’d pay us three thousand dollars.
At first, I did it for the money. Then I did it to honor my father—and my best friend in high school who grew up in that same wreckage. And because, given my personality, it seemed wise to abstain.
I had my first drink on a balcony overlooking the Grand Canal, in the Peggy Guggenheim Suite at The Gritti Palace. (Booked with points, not cash.) My wife Julia and I were celebrating eleven years of marriage.
We’ve offered our daughter ten thousand dollars—because inflation is real—if she waits until 25 to drink or use drugs. When close friends heard about it, they made the same deal with their kids and even added a thousand dollars to the incentive. Eleven thousand dollars for waiting.
That’s a lot of money. And it’s a check I genuinely hope to write one day.
So tonight, I raise a glass to you.
To family stories that shape us.
To choosing what we pass on.
To restraint that turns out to be freedom.
To wellness, in whatever form it takes, for you and those you love.
Happy New Year.
As a psychologist working with children, teens, and adults across Santa Monica, Brentwood, Beverly Hills, and Pacific Palisades, I regularly see how early substance use intersects with anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, self-harm, and suicide risk. Thoughtful, values-driven conversations about waiting to drink alcohol—especially in families with a history of addiction—can play a powerful role in long-term mental health and prevention.
If you or your family are navigating questions about substance use, boundaries, or wellness, support is available. You can reach out through our contact page to learn more about therapy and psychological services at Youth & Family Institute. For additional evidence-based information, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism offers extensive research on alcohol and mental health: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov.
