DBT skills can feel like a terrible product when someone already has something that works fast.
Here’s what it sounds like when I try to sell skills to someone who already has something that works quickly.
Me: If your anxiety is at a 10 and you smoke weed, where does it go?
Client: Zero. Maybe a 1.
Me: Wow. And how long does it take?
Client: Less than a minute. Seconds.
Me: Wow. Yeah, I do not have any skills that can do that. It can take you from a 10 to a 0 in seconds, and it is as easy as inhaling.
Client: …
Me: No, I am not going to sell you weed.
Client: Okay, that felt like clickbait.
Why DBT Skills Are Hard to Sell
I am still here to sell DBT skills.
However, they work much slower at first. They require more effort. They also usually will not get anxiety all the way down to a 0.
Client: Bro, you are terrible at selling skills.
Fair.
In the short term, cannabis can feel faster, easier, and more effective than distress tolerance, mindfulness, opposite action, paced breathing, exposure, or behavioral activation.
That is exactly why we need to talk about it honestly.
Fast Relief vs. Lasting Change
With cannabis, the more someone uses, the more they may need to get the same effect. The relief may still work, but it often depends on using again.
The same pattern can show up with other fast-relief behaviors. Self-harm is one example. It can reduce distress quickly in the short term, but the behavior can escalate over time.
Skills work differently.
At first, DBT skills are often a grind.
For example, it might take 90 minutes and several skills to bring anxiety from a 10 to a 6. I often tell clients: if you are at a 9, you may need 9 plus 1 skills.
Client: Wow. Somehow you made skills sound even less appealing.
Still fair.
How DBT Skills Get Stronger
The first few times, DBT skills can feel slow, awkward, and weak.
However, repetition changes the skill.
The next time, it might take 45 minutes. Eventually, it might take 15 minutes. Over time, skills can become more powerful and faster-acting.
Then, at some point, clients start using them without even realizing it.
We will do a chain analysis, and the client will say, “Yeah, I used several skills, didn’t I?”
That is when they realize the skills are working even when they are not actively trying. The skills have become part of their behavioral repertoire.
Zero effort.
Zero money.
Less coughing.
When Cannabis Competes With Skills
Cannabis is not the enemy.
However, it can compete with skills when it becomes the fastest and most reliable way to change a feeling.
If anxiety, sadness, shame, anger, or boredom can disappear in seconds, slower skills may not get practiced enough to become useful.
That is why we track the pattern.
We want to know when cannabis shows up, what it does, what it helps, and what it prevents. We also want to know which skills are not getting the chance to work.
The National Institute on Drug Abuse has information about cannabis and health effects here: https://nida.nih.gov/research-topics/cannabis-marijuana
SAMHSA also has information about marijuana risks here: https://www.samhsa.gov/substance-use/learn/marijuana/risks
Skills Are Trash at First
Me: Fast relief vs. lasting change. Choose your hard.
Long pause.
I am thinking: Okay. This might be landing.
Client: So skills are trash at first.
Me: …
Client: But they level up and have an elite character arc.
Exactly.
At YFI, we support youth, young adults, adults, and families navigating cannabis use, anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, ADHD, emotion dysregulation, avoidance, self-harm, suicide risk, family stress, and difficulty using skills consistently. Our team provides comprehensive DBT, parent coaching, skills training, phone coaching, and coordinated care when clients and families need more support. Learn more about our DBT services here: https://youthandfamilyinstitute.com/dbt/
For families in Pasadena, San Marino, and South Pasadena, YFI provides evidence-based care with warmth, clarity, and respect. To learn more or connect with our team, please visit our contact page: https://youthandfamilyinstitute.com/contact/
